Niki N. Phaser

Watching TV the other day and I saw this video for Alexandra Burke’s Bad Boys and I have to say that the plot as well as the coregraphy got my sick mind thinking about what could it all mean. You don’t have to watch too closely to realize that this video seems like a 4 minutes metaphor for a gang bang. The girl’s car breaks down in a shady neighbourhood at night and then she is slowly followed and surrounded by an army of thug looking fellows, who keep checking out her bod. They end up in a pool joint, where the guys make their move and she ends up dancing with all of them, while Flo Rida sits alone and sad outside contemplating “She so so addicted to them rougher fellas” or “get them more the merrier” and concluding “You’ll have them shawty don’t worry”. It all ends outside, where the bad boys circle the girl and one final face-off follows, leaving them big guys down on the ground. This is one faulty cautionary tale for girls walking alone at night…

WHAT D’YA THINK ?

And just so you wouldn’t think that I’m raging against The X Factor, because it’s the seasonal thing to do, I’ll focus my sick mind on a classic hit, a video which I actually saw the same day: Billy Joel’s Uptown Girl. The lyrics talk about, obviously, an uptown girl who is “getting tired of her high class toys” and I guess that because “she never had a back street guy”, she decides to look “for a downtown man”. In the video, the girl just so happens to have her chauffeur stop at a garage, where Billy and his gang of Merry Mechanics giver her the full treatment. As soon as she gets down from her car, the dancing starts. Two bikers and two breakdancers with weird tops join in and soon our uptown girl is dancing with 8 guys at once. Her chauffeur doesn’t interfere, which is very Once Upon a Time in America of him. This is a cautionary tale for all of you uptown boys, this is what happens when your girl gets tired of “living in her white bread world”.

Up WHAT Girl ?!

              It is official, pop-rock legends Blondie are going to make 2010 and even more special year, by releasing a new album. It will be their first since 2003′s The Curse of Blondie. The band is working with producer Jeff Saltzman and so far, they have around thirty tracks in the works. It’s still unclear if this is going to be a regular release or a digital one, but Chris Stein, talking about the new material, said: “does it sound like a Blondie recording? Yes I am sure it will be familiar”. The Curse of Blondie, though somewhat ignored, was a great collection of songs, so good things may be coming our way. Untill then, we can get into the holiday spirit with the band’s rocky rendition of the traditional We Three Kings, offered as a free download here.                      VIDEO

               Yes, I gave in and embraced the cliché of making ‘best of the year’ tops. Still, ‘top’ is a strong word, it sounds so… hierarchical, so definite, things that can be calculated with numbers. Artistic value has a lot to do with the moment. While I’m listening to a great song and I’m really feeling it, I’m not thinking “This song is slightly less wonderful than another great song”. Music is not a sport. When it comes to art, each individual is the judge. Music is the place where the mind and the heart meet, it has nothing to do with other people’s opinions. You should also know that some of the songs from this list might be released as singles in the future, so read the date when this was posted before sharing with your friends… Ok, enough with this mumbo-jumbo, let’s see who made to number 1, people!!!!!

11. Morrissey – It’s Not Your Birthday Anymore

His recent albums are pretty far from the fresh outta The Smiths stuff. I’m talking about the music, because the lyrics have always been briliant – the guy just can’t be topped when it comes to editing ideas into the most simple and yet poetic words. It’s Not Your Birthday Anymore it’s one of the most powerful songs he wrote in years, talking about how politeness and hypocrisy have nothing to do with one’s expression of love: “All the gifts that they gave can’t compare in any way to the love I am now giving to you right here right now on the floor”. LISTEN

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